How we experience rejection has a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves and how we choose to use our will and power of choice!
At some point in our lives, we all experience feelings of rejection, that feeling of not being enough, feeling unwanted or inadequate. These feelings brush up against our souls like paint on a canvas and often bruise our self-esteem, because something or someone we want does not want us. Rejection comes in countless shades, intentional or unintentional, with or without malice. It can come disguised as a friend, family member, lover, spouse, employer, or peers.
Rejection can grab us early on in our lives, often leaving us stained with a sense of inadequacy or inferiority. Others experience rejection in their teen years, leaving the hues of doubt and insecurity, while others experience it in adulthood, leaving us angry and wounded. I have not found a definitive way to defend against the experience itself, as rejection is just one of those things that comes along with being human. No one goes unscathed.
I have, however, discovered that rejection has its perks as does everything else in life, but only if we are able to shift our perspective and reframe its meaning. Just as a color on a canvas has no inherent value, only the value we ascribe to it, the same is true for rejection. We have the power to choose how and if we give value to the experience and the painful feelings that accompany it. Here are a few ways I have chosen to reframe rejection in my own life: 1) It affords me an opportunity to exercise my will; no one can make me feel anything, unless I am willing to cooperate; 2) It has given me the opportunity to declare my own worth, despite what others may think, believe, or feel about me. It is nice to be validated by others, but it is a powerful experience when you do not need it, because you have defined you own worth; 3) I try to search for the lesson in rejection, as I believe there is a lesson in every experience, providing us with an opportunity for growth; 4) My personal favorite is: “REJECTION IS GOD’S PROTECTION.” I have found this to be true when I did not get what I wanted whether it was a person, a place or a thing. In hindsight, I have been deliciously thankful that I did not; 5) And this one is my ace, when nothing else seems to work, I remember that all pain is a temporary affair, and given time all bruises fade, like everything else in life eventually does.
Now, none of this means that rejection does not hurt. What it does mean is that we have choices about how we choose to experience it. I say, the next time you experience rejection of any kind, remember that you have the power to give meaning to your experience. No one else holds that power. So by all means, exercise your power of choice. Some rejection, if experienced wisely, we should be thankful for!
